One of the most important things to remember when you are going through a divorce with children is that you don’t have to try to keep them involved in all the decisions you make with your ex. Your children only need to know certain things that directly impact them, but you do have to be open with your ex about what’s going on with the kids.
When you are going through the divorce and the period after it, you need to be sure that you and your ex communicate directly with each other. This isn’t always going to be easy, but doing this can make the situation less stressful for you and can teach your children a valuable lesson.
One mistake that some parents make is trying to use the kids to find out information about the other parent. This is never a good idea because it makes the child think they have to choose between their parents. It can also make them feel like they are hurting a parent when they provide information about that person or that household.
You also shouldn’t ever use them to pass messages back and forth. Not only can those become altered in the process, but it might also cause the children to become privy to information they don’t need. Instead, you and your ex must speak to each other or use a messaging app to communicate.
Some parents choose to have the communication options and expectations listed in the parenting plan. The more comprehensive the plan, the less likely that you will have problems come up in the future.